Joke of the day

[JEnfield]

Got this joke from Rim Fire Central another shooting site I hang out at.

Hello, is this the Sheriff's Office?'

'Yes. What can I do for you?'

'I'm calling to report 'bout my neighbor Virgil Smith.......He's hidin'
marijuana inside his firewood! Don't quite know how he gets it inside them
logs, but he's hidin' it there.

'Thank you very much for the call, sir.'
The next day, twelve Sheriff's Deputies descend on Virgil's house. They
searched the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they busted open every piece of wood, but found no marijuana. They sneer at Virgil and leave.

Shortly, the phone rings at Virgil's house.
'Hey, Virgil! This here's Floyd, .... Did the Sheriff come?'
'Yeah!'
'Did they chop your firewood?'
'Yep!'
'Happy Birthday, buddy!'

Jimmy

[b_mason]

A man's in bed with his Thai girlfriend.

After having great sex, she spends the next hour just stroking his penis, something she had lovingly done on many occasions.

Rather enjoying it, he turns and asks her, 'Why do you love doing that?'

She replies: 'Because I really miss mine'.

[Speedblastr]

LMAO. At Both! I think I may try that firewood Trick ! LOL But not the other one....That's a trick with a hole in it !

[Speedblastr]

Two old men were talking on a park bench.After a while one said,"By the way, how's your wife?"
"I think she's dead."
"What do you mean?"
" Well,the sex is the same,but the dishes are piling up."

[b_mason]

lol, nice view on old age sex.

here's a dorky one.

what did the fish say when he swam into the concrete wall?

.....dam!!

[Speedblastr]

Striking out again at the town dance,a man began to walk back to his farmhouse.The guy passed a field of pumpkins that reminded him of shapely bare asses. Settling down next to one pumpkin, he cut a hole in it and began to enjoy himself. "Hey, Pal," a voice said," what the hell are you doing to that pumpkin?" Thinking quickly , the man blurted," Pumpkin? Shit , is it midnight already?"
Blonde joke of the month:A postcard from a blonde friend on vacation read , " Having a wonderful time. Where am I ?

[b_mason]

An ugly women walks into the store with two kids, the clerk asks, are they twins?

She says, can't you see that one is nine and the other is four. His reply, Yes, I just can't believe someone fucked you twice!!!

[rbcathlos]

Do you know what fat chicks and mopeds have in Common? Both are allot of fun to ride until one of your friends sees you! .

[b_mason]

atleast a moped won't fall in love with you for doing the nasty.

[Speedblastr]

When the schoolbus stopped at a backwoods junction , a third grader jumped down the sreps and ran toward his mom , yelling , " Mama , Mama , we went swimmin' today."
" That's nice, Jethro," The Mother replied.
" And guess what," Jethro said. " I got me the biggest pecker in the whole third grade ! "
She replied , " Well , I reckon it's 'cause yer 17 , Jethro. "

[b_mason]

A husband emerged from the bathroom naked and was climbing into bed when his wife complained, as usual, "I have a headache."

"Perfect," her husband said." I was just in the bathroom powdering my penis with aspirin.

You can take it orally, or as a suppository, it's up to you."

[Speedblastr]

A husband emerged from the bathroom naked and was climbing into bed when his wife complained, as usual, "I have a headache."

"Perfect," her husband said." I was just in the bathroom powdering my penis with aspirin.

You can take it orally, or as a suppository, it's up to you."

LMAO.

[b_mason]

In a severe panick president bush calls a pest control service.

With his voice cracking, he yells I need help, theres a coon and beaver trying to get into the white house!!!!

[JEnfield]

Its Mothers Day and Dad takes it upon himself to cook a nice dinner so he has a venison roast from a friend . Dinner is all prepared and on the table and no one knows its deer meat so Dad drops a hint he tells them its what your mother calls me. The kids spit it out and run screaming from the dining room ITS A DICK ITS A DICK.

Jimmy

[b_mason]

if women with big boobs works at hooters,

Then where do women with 1 leg work???



IHOP!