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DIVORCE AGREEMENT :)

PostPosted: Sat Feb 21, 2009 12:45 pm
by b_mason
I got this in an email today. I love it.

DIVORCE AGREEMENT



THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY WELL PUT AND I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT'S BY A YOUNG PERSON, A STUDENT!!! WHATEVER HE RUNS FOR, I'LL VOTE FOR HIM.









American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course. Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell (You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them).

We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .

You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.

We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N.. but we will no longer be paying the bill.

We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right. We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya or We Are the World.

We'll practice trickle down economics and you can give trickle up poverty your best shot. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you ANWAR which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.


Sincerely,

John J. Wall
Law Student and an American

P.S. Also, please take Barbara Streisand & Jane Fonda with you.

PostPosted: Sun Feb 22, 2009 11:22 am
by davidc
That appeals to my conservative, sensible, patriotic side. Guess I am just a card-carrying American.

PostPosted: Sun Feb 22, 2009 7:20 pm
by b_mason
davidc wrote:That appeals to my conservative, sensible, patriotic side. Guess I am just a card-carrying American.


Man card-carrying american David!

It appeals to most of us, even the dems that are disappointed by the pork fest that is going on right now.

PostPosted: Mon Feb 23, 2009 11:34 am
by davidc
I am dumbfounded by the indifference revealed by so many Americans that this administration is B.S.ing everyone into forking over their autonomy, their ability to live freely. When the time comes that this is understood, it will be that much more difficult to do something about it.
Poor America!

PostPosted: Mon Feb 23, 2009 8:41 pm
by Speedblastr
B , You must like pink Floyd. The whole Album Animals (concept album) is about the flaws of Capitalism.
Speed.Floyd Freak Forever !

Various castes in society are represented as different types of animals( dogs as the businessman, sheep as the powerless pawns,and pigs as the ruthless leaders). Although the album mainly attacks capitalism, several components are similar to George Orwell's novel " Animal Farm " 02 02 1977
Where does that leave us castes in Society. 8)

PostPosted: Mon Feb 23, 2009 10:30 pm
by davidc
Sure capitalism is flawed, only not as much as the other stuff.

PostPosted: Tue Feb 24, 2009 5:42 pm
by Speedblastr
davidc wrote:Sure capitalism is flawed, only not as much as the other stuff.

Sure " " " ' " " " " " the people who are well - heeled , Big Wheels , Ha,Ha, charade you are !

PostPosted: Tue Feb 24, 2009 8:37 pm
by rndtaylor
how many people in Cuba, or China, or Russia, enjoy travelling freely on their Triumphs?

Randy

PostPosted: Tue Feb 24, 2009 8:40 pm
by TonUp
I want to live in Cuba!



Tito

Ton Up!

PostPosted: Wed Feb 25, 2009 12:47 am
by rndtaylor
Cuba is beautiful, but the politics, and lack of freedoms are keeping the country from being the jewel that it could be.

PostPosted: Wed Feb 25, 2009 11:29 am
by b_mason
Pink Floyd - yes, I have liked them since 1986 when I first heard their bizarre for of music. I had no idea that it was drug based songs but I still liked the mind trip it made.

Cuba is a great place, great food, inventive peopled, fiesty women, great cigars. Just the worst politics in my opinion.

Viva Cuba! Free Cuba!!

I wish they could enjoy the life and freedom Triumphs provide.

Floyd's concept Albums

PostPosted: Wed Feb 25, 2009 6:35 pm
by Speedblastr
b_mason wrote:Pink Floyd - yes, I have liked them since 1986 when I first heard their bizarre for of music. I had no idea that it was drug based songs but I still liked the mind trip it made.

Cuba is a great place, great food, inventive peopled, fiesty women, great cigars. Just the worst politics in my opinion.

Viva Cuba! Free Cuba!!

I wish they could enjoy the life and freedom Triumphs provide.


Yeah , they were a psychedelic band in the late 60's...68? on the London scene , they walked a tightrope between the chart action of their psychedelic singles and the superhip credibility of their " free - form electronic freakouts. then , almost as soon as they arrived , Syd Barrett , their charismatic singer , lead guitarist and songwriter suffered a LSD induced total burnout. Enter: David Gilmore. Bye-Bye Syd. To the Institution. Syd's predicament , pretty well cured them of all possible ails with LSD.
A lot more : Wish you were here - Concept album against the music Industry..."Have a Cigar"...and a dedication to Syd..."Shine on you Crazy Diamond" ...." Dark Side of the Moon" - The albums themes include Conflict , greed, aging and Mental Illness - inspired in part by the deteriorating mental state of Syd Barrett.
" The Wall " - is a concept album ( Rock Opera )that largely deals with the theme of isolation from ones peers. The concept was inspired by the bands 1977 tour ( Animals) with regards to an incident where Roger Waters' frustration with the audience reached a point where Waters spat in the face of a fan who was attempting to climb on stage;this, in turn, led him to lament that such a Wall exists.
A lot more to the band than meets the eye , especially the Saxophone , Black female back up singers, most excellent Guitar,Voc. ( David Gilmore).... Bass,Voc. (Roger Waters).....Kybds. , Voc. ( Richard Wright)... Drums ( Nick Mason)
_Cuba_ is a perfect example of 'Dictatorship' at it's finest. I'd like to have one of those primo 'Chevy 57' Bel-Airs that they drive around. Beautiful Country , Unimaginable Island History and Beautiful women ! 8)