9-9-02 I hit a deer that broke my lower back.
I've had a hatchet in my back and dead-ish legs for the last 6 years.
this week mz. modre put my back back in place by accident and I'm alive and kicking again.
the deer came off the L side of the road, the police report says R
and so starts the comedy of errors that make me distain "experts and authority"
the ambulance ride over back rough roads strapped to the board in a full body charlie horse while begging to be unstrapped so I could gain some relief...denied
emergency room staffed by fools with no hands (just called to retrieve the original documentation to be told it's been destroyed) I told them it's the low back, they're looking for a spleen.
follow-up with the PC is pain pills, X-Ray and condemnation for wanting the pain pills again
I finally fired him for not being perceptive enough to know shit from shinola.
special trip to the high priced young arrogant expert to be told I had to live with it...Ok...I'm fairly gnarly...the report says hit on the R side...I hit on the L...no wonder they amputate the wrong legs far too often...and at those prices?
I saw 3 medical experts and 2 chiropractors begging for some relief and not one did anything positive for me....lots of money thrown at the problem
...anyway...6 years of living hell later Goldwing Dave with his new trailer breaks down at the foot of my drive...I'd been sitting on the buzz chair for 2 hours trying to control a flair-up...next, I'm unhooking and moving the trailer off the road and getting the way too much bike weight onto the flat part so as to trouble-shoot...schlepping battery chargers, meters and wires like a good samaritan.
I'm fading fast, Dave's sitting on a log in the shade...pissin' me off... I found no charge out of the alternator, hooked the trailer to the jeep...got him a charge to limp home, did the over and above...then collapsed on the floor in tears for the next 2 days motherfucking him up and down...swearing an oath to stop being so nice to folks when a 10 cent favor is costing me $100 a pop in misery.
the buzz chair stops working...I can't stand up on 2 canes without the legs giving way in a nerve jerk...so I lay low and rest...nothing left...the lights are getting dim...
so mz. modre takes pity on me and does a back rub as if she loves me...working on the 2 little vertical muscles either side of the low back...I'm in total surrender mode. she has no particular appitude for chiropractic and totally by accident (wasn't even really pushing hard) I get a pop deep and big like 2 cement blocks banging together...feel the hatchet and see a big flash of light as the main nerve gets traumatized in the release...she fixed it by total accident...a genuine Jesus miracle...no explanation.
so 15 minutes later I'm feeling life returning to my legs and feeling warm in my toes...even found a chiropractor I like to do the follow-up details.
doctors didn't contribute much of benefit, I tried everything within my imagination to stretch, bend and twist it back in shape with no good result, and mz. modre was afraid to touch me for fear of breaking me in half, and 6 years is a long time to hurt..there's no logical explanation I can get my mind around why I was crippled and pricing wheelchairs last week and today I have legs again, feel terrific, and get a fresh shot at old age.
these facts are true, you put your own spin on it...there was a genuine miracle in my house this week.
...bring on the next bash...I'm off the fuckin' leash.

"Sometimes ya' gotta hold a candle to the devil."